Sharing My Love for Wil Wheaton

Read and learn. Then admire.

the hum of the clock is a far away place

During dinner tonight, my cell phone rang. Caller ID said "Restricted."

"Male or female?" I said to Otis.

"Female for a buck," he said.

I flipped open the phone. "Hello?"

"Hey Wil, it's Ryan."

"Hey Ryan! Hold on a sec." I turned the phone away from my face and looked at Otis. "Ship it!"

He grimaced and reached into his pocket as I won yet another prop bet from him. (I've played a tiny bit of poker while I've been here, and I'm probably stuck fifteen bucks total, plus the disaster of Martini-fueled blackjack on my birthday. If it wasn't for Otis spewing money to me on prop bets, I'd be really stuck. As it is, I'm even on the whole trip, and I may actually be a little bit ahead.)

"What's up?" I said.

"Mom wanted me to call you and find out if it was okay for me to play Vice City. I think it's okay, because I'm seventeen and everything, but mom said she wasn't sure and wanted me to talk to you about it since you've played it."

Ryan is an incredibly mature and responsible person. I know that he understands the difference between reality and video games, and I'm actually more concerned about the time he spends playing them, than the content of the game.

"Well," I said, "you're seventeen, so you're able to buy yourself tickets to rated 'R' movies, and Vice City isn't any worse than, say, Scarface or Goodfellas, but hold on a second and let me think about it, okay?"

"Okay," he said.

I put the phone to my chest, and explained the situation to the table. Oh, and now would be a good time to point out that we were in a *very* nice restaurant where I wouldn't take a call if we weren't way in the back, against the wall with no other diners around us.

"Does he know that it's not okay to hit beat a hooker with a baseball bat and get his money back in real life?" My friend Ryan said.

"Good question," I said. I put the phone back to my ear and said, "I have to ask you one question: if you pick up a hooker in real life, is it okay to hit her with a baseball bat to get your money back after she gets out of your car?"

"Well, since hookers are empty shells and not real people," he said, "then yes. Yes. It's okay to whack her with a baseball bat."

I relayed this to the table and added, "I think he's mature enough to handle Vice City."

"Tell him that he he also has a future career in Hollywood," Ryan said.

August 10, 2006 at 01:38 AM in WWdN in Exile : "the hum of the clock is a far away place"

Scared Out of my Pants

Drew and I just got back from watching The Descent. Good times. I am not usually one to run out and see horror flicks...and now I remember why. I am completely incapable of detaching myself from fear; I turn white and I start shaking. I couldn't even watch Jeepers Creepers without having to turn on all the lights. So, I spent most of the movie covering my face and trying to roll up in a cocoon of safety. I think the scariest part was not the crazy cave-human-monsters but just the claustrophobia of crawling through cracks and crags in the rock without knowledge of an exit. Which is why Drew kept grabbing my arm and panting, "Why would you do that? They're crazy!" It gives me the heebie-jeebies just to think about it. But, all in all it was a worthwhile viewing. I mean, getting the audience to feel that immerssed in the setting and action is pretty intense. I approve. The story is about a group of women who go adventure seeking in the Appalaichans. They meet to take a journey through a series of caves, but unbeknownst to them, Juno (the initiator) has taken them to uncharted caves. So, of course, bad things start to happen when their enterance collapses. Wooooooo....

I also watched the alternate UK ending, which made more sense than the idealized US version. Don't you hate it when they change an ending for different audiences?? Yes, the US constituents wouldn't have like the more depressing UK ending, but why do we have to be so lame?? If you want to see the other, better ending, here it is:

The Descent, UK ending. This is why youtube rocks.

Also, if you visit the site...it gives a pretty good idea of the intensity. Go to the site, then click "experience" and then "claustrophobia." It shows a short flash film from clips in the movie, which is awesome: http://www.thedescentfilm.com/

The Verdict

So, here's my plan...I will maintain both blogs. I will keep "The Captain's Blog" as a sort of travel diary for the Europe and this site for my boundless expounding of completely useless information. Das good? ya?

In other news...I decided it was time to educate the masses on the glories of summer television. I remember the days when the summer was a dreaded fate, filled with countless hours of Full House reruns, Cops, and Jeopardy. Weekend movies being the diamond in the rough. Now, we live in the golden age: mindless entertainment for all! So, here's the break-down, in no particular order:

Rockstar: Supernova. (CBS: Performance Tues @ 9 pt and Elimination Wed @ 8 pt) Normally, I am not one to anticipate the rise of yet another reality show. But, I am not ashamed to admit that I am addicted. The shtick is that Tommy Lee (drummer: Motley Crue), Jason Newsted (bass: Metallica), and Gilby Clarke of rock. But when he is on stage, he's all metal...a moshing, head-banging, badass. I <3 him. The other person that I heart is Dilana. She is my hero, no doubt. Her husky voice and hard core, full on kickass stage presence is gonna winner her the competition, I just know it. She is by far the most professional, experienced, hard worker of the group and it pays off. Rock on!!

Project Runway. (Bravo: Wed @ 10/9c) Now, I know I said I don't really watch reality t.v. but this, along with Rockstar, is a notable exception. This is probably just because I can sit on my lazy butt and watch other people fulfill my ambitions for me...not that I want to be a fashion designer persay but that I have always said I should make my own clothing and it would be "so much better than the stuff in stores" but whenever I have time I end up writing to phantom readers about the summer primetime. Anyway, this show pretty much rocks. There isn't a lot of Real World drama, but that's what I like about it. Sometimes, though, you have to really wonder how much producers intervene in the judgements, because I really can't believe that Bradley actually got accalaides from Vera Wang for his episode 3 dress. Sure it was his birthday, but was all that really necessary?

Whistler. (the-n: Fri 9 et) Noggin - by day an innocent preschooler's channel featuring Pinky Dinky Doo and Maisy, by night a naughty, naughty, Canadalicious channel under the alias "the-n." I highly reccomend. Apparently, folks like Kevin Smith dig Degrassi, but in my humble opinion Degrassi pails next to Whistler. The show, named after its ski resort town setting, begins with the death of Beck McKaye, a young snowboarding Olympic goldmetalist. Unconvinced that Beck's death was an accident, his younger brother, Quinn, becomes obsessed with uncovering the truth behind the mysterious circumstances of Beck's fatal snowboarding accident. Juicy, I know. Oh, but there is more...chided by a ghostly form of his brother, Quinn uncovers a trail of sex, drugs, bribary, cover-ups and general saucy scandals with which all the characters of the show are connected. And, of course, everyone (from Beck's best friend, to girl friend, to parents and uncle) are on the brink of spinning wildly out of control. Got to love melodrama - 4 stars! Oh...and did I mention that you can watch all the episodes on the website?? Does it get any better?

Eureka. (SciFi: Tues @ 9/8 c) Who doesn't love the SciFi channel? Genius, pure genius! The people who brought you the Doon miniseries and Firefly, know how to deliver. Eureka is probably my favorite show right now, I don't know what I'll do when I leave behind the pleasures of cable tv. ::sigh:: Well, besides having an incredibly charming and gorgeous lead actor (Colin Ferguson), the show offers an innovative premise, mystery, comedy, intriguing characters, and a bit of wit ta boot. Basically, Eureka is US government run, scientific research pleasuredom fronting as a small town. When a U.S. marshal, Jack Carter (Ferguson), stubles through town while transporting his dillinquint daughter back to Los Angeles, he becomes caught up in a the backfire of an experiment gone wrong. Ya know, it's really a lot more complicated than I thought, but let's just say funny things happen, adventure ensues, and the day is saved...pretty much. It's good, watch it.

Who Wants to be a Superhero? (SciFi, 9/8c) To get an idea of what this show is like just picture milk-coming-out-of-your-nose laughter. What more can I say? I really laughed so hard I cried...it's all about Major Victory. I really pity those people who didn't get to see the first episode, you have NO idea what you missed. It is just a beautiful mass of uber cheese, campy, corny wonder.

Well, this is my summer must watch list. I know you are thinking, 'wow she needs a life,' but you don't have to thank me, I am just doing my bit for humanity. These shows will make you a better person. "But you don't have to take my word for it." - The wise Levar Burton, Reading Rainbow